i think my tv is drunk
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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