he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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