): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
