I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
