I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Randomize
