There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
