What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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