our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Drunk walkin through police station. America
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
