He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
