i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
