I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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