You work out of a Hotel?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
