no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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