I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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