I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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