no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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