Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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