Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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