so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
