Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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