xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
