TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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