it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
