I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
