she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize