It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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