Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
