it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
