Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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