We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
