I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
