I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.