We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
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It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot