the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?