so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.