Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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