I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
