We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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