She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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