who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
