I could have mohawked her pubes.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize