It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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