Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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