we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No subtext here. People are naked.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
