he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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