drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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