i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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