Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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