Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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