So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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