what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Randomize
