guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
