k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
