Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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