You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
