I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
