I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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