I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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