i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
