that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
